Vita 10: 1+1=1

I left off yesterday telling that it is, among other things, because of the 'audible' I called halfway through my college career that I met who was to become my wife. Though Asbury is not a large campus (the student body was somewhere around 1200 when we were students), Carrie and I never crossed paths (that we knew of) until late October when, along with 15-20 other students in the Junior 'Anointed' class, we went on a mission trip to the mountains in eastern Tennessee during Fall Break. I had just been selected as the Male Class Chaplain (a cabinet position that was not filled during the previous year's class elections) and was required to go. Had it not been for this, I probably would not have thought to go, but am certainly glad that the conditions were such that I did. I was curious who she was because she and only one other person I had never seen so far as I knew. We camped at Confrontation Point and were divided into several teams that went to different sites/houses working on different projects. Carrie and I were not on the same team, but each evening we would find ourselves in a group of 7 or 8 people talking about particular subjects ranging from theology to dating to campus life.

We never had a conversation face-to-face until the last day of the trip, where the group went caving. Not everyone had a flashlight so we were asked to team up with someone who did...I had one; Carrie did not. She was standing close by so I offered to share with her. Having been annoyed by some of my flamboyant activity earlier in the trip (the use of a fog horn, creating an interpretive dance to 'Reading Rainbow,' and the sporting of the loudest lime green sweater jacket you can imagine), she reluctantly agreed. The last part of the caving expedition involved an optional trip to a 'mud room,' to which both of us declined along with a few others. I rejected the 'mud room' offer because I had a new Honda Civic and didn't want to dirty it up. I am not sure why Carrie didn't take up the offer...probably because she was sharing a flash light with this hot guy. So instead of getting muddy, we exited the cave with a few others and there had our first one-on-one conversation. Somewhere in the midst of that conversation I began to fall in love, though I wouldn't recognize it for a while. (I think she would say the same.)

Details of the next two weeks will go untold here, but suffice it to say there was a couple of awkward situations with others, of which I will take much of the blame. In the time surrounding those few weeks, I had been misleading or non-communicative to some others about my intentions and this led to some awkward and broken relationships that are probably as repaired today as they will be this side of the new heaven and new earth. Still, about 3 weeks later, Carrie and I had our first official date, and intentions were very clear. The date didn't last all that long...about 45 minutes. Ice skating was never my strong suit and when we got on the rink that evening, she discovered just how awful I was...I fell down about 10 times in 20-30 minutes. The last accident was sliding into the wall which permanently damaged my right ring finger...the knuckle is noticeably swollen to this day. With its immediate swelling, we decided to return to campus and see someone to make sure it wasn't broken (which it wasn't, just severely sprained). When I dropped her off, she said, 'This is the shortest date I've ever been on, but also the best date I've ever been on.'

Though we left open the possibility of the other going on a date with someone else if they so chose, we never went out with anyone else. Because of some broken relationships, we drew up a 'contract' when we decided to be exclusive. That 'contract' was ridiculous...yet hilarious now! It was an attempt to outline what boundaries we would abide by at certain stages of the relationship...and it was detailed, let me tell you! Anyhow, we didn't follow the 'contract' to the 'T' and ended up getting engaged a few months later.

The summer between our junior and senior years, she had an internship in Atlanta while I stayed in Wilmore taking summer classes (in order to be able to graduate by the next May) and living with her parents on the weekend as I was an 'intern youth pastor' at a church near Louisville. During her stay in Atlanta, she got involved at a very large suburban church and one message shared there really shook her up. The pastor/speaker said something like: 'There is someone in their 20's in college who is engaged here and shouldn't be.' It was in the context, supposedly, of a message about relationships and advice on a good marriage. But still, she called me crying and wondering if we should take a step back based on that. We didn't. You know, what the pastor said may have been true of someone (since 20,000 or so listened to the message), but scaring the crap out of everyone fitting that criteria with such a statement is a little over the top. Anyway, it's funny today, because Carrie does not remember this at all! I do, because her call interrupted a lunch I was having with a couple from the church at which I was working. If your fiancee calls panicked, you better take the call. Fortunately, that couple is friends with Carrie's parents so we could catch up later.

The next summer we got married...July 4, 2003 to be exact...and yes, our colors were red, white, and blue. *Pauses for your jokes*. 'A night of fireworks, eh?' 'Celebrate your independence and then lose it.' We've heard them all. But it was a great day! Let me say just a couple of things about something shared at our wedding and then something shared at another wedding to which we've been.

We got married at a *ahem* non-denominational church that would often be associated without having liturgy. Two observations: it isn't non-denominational and they do have liturgy. There is definitely a 'connection' among such churches; their pastors have almost identical educational and vocational pedigrees; and attend two weddings or funerals hosted by such a church and you'll notice the liturgy. At the wedding, the pastor (as in ours) shared about how he loves what Ecclesiastes 4.12 says about marriage: 'And though one might prevail against another, two will withtand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.' The 'proverb' here can be applied to marriage, but isn't what Ecclesiastes is about. No early Church Father made such a connection nor any modern commentator as far as I have found. Modern commentaries suggest it's merely a proverb saying a similar thing one would hear today: 'If two is better than one, how much better is three!' Sources in the early Church, reading it theologically, drew a Trinitarian reference/application here. Now that's intriguing!

Last summer, we went to a wedding of Carrie's aunt in the Great Smokey Mountains in eastern Tennessee. The leadership of the service was primarily by an Episcopalian priest, but the homily was offered by a Catholic priest, who was a dear friend and priest to the groom's family. His choice of Scripture? Luke 24.13-35: the story of the road to Emmaus. Another intriguing selection! He even admitted so, but what he shared was one of the most beautiful things I have heard. (I may have shared this here before, so if you're reading this for the second time, bear with me...who knows, it could be beneficial to hear it again.) As the story unfolds and reaches its climax, Jesus is revealed to them in the 'breaking of the bread.' He said you may be searching for Jesus in the most profound of thoughts, circumstances, or events, but the truth is that he is revealed in the most common of moments and elements: a 'meal'...in the 'breaking of bread.' It is in the moments, he continued, when you get home from work and share a meal with your spouse...in the moments where you say, 'I am sorry'...in the moments when you are tired and say to your spouse, 'Let's go to bed'...the moments common to life that you will find Jesus has revealed himself to and in you.